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Learned helplessness
If you live your life feeling like events
are beyond your control, then the chances are that you are correct.
In lieu of taking personal responsibility for how, why, what, where and when you
use your time, you have abdicated responsibility.
And if you do not make a choice/take control/manage yourself, somebody else will
choose for you.
This can result in a sense of powerlessness, impotence and
stress.
Choice
According to the book
Smarter
Faster Better, we feel better when we exercise control over our
lives.
This is accomplished by evaluating choices and making decisions.
The more you exert control, the more likely you are to
accomplish things.
Change
Martial arts require the exponent to rapidly evaluate
combat situations and make the best possible choice
given the circumstances.
The challenge lies with the fact that the situation continually changes.
Our opponent is not static. The opponent's decisions affect our options and our decisions affect their choices
too...
Yes or no?
Lao Tzu wrote that if we consider a decision
long enough we may come to agree with it.
If we think a little further, we might then uncover disagreeable aspects.
Yet, further thinking may ultimately leave us uncertain.
We can no longer choose yes or no. We realise that we do not know the best
course of action.
The variables, permutations, outcomes, consequences, ramifications and
repercussions overwhelm us.
Chuang Tzu's The Pivot
Chuang Tzu wrote that we can always see things from more than one
perspective.
It can be useful to examine our motivations, goals and feelings, then flip
it around and play Devil's Advocate.
We will gain more insight and also see flaws
in
how we think.
Luck?
We can choose in some circumstances. We are not always offered a choice.
Even if we can choose, do we choose from a standpoint of wisdom or
confusion?
Will you agree with your decisions in 10 years time?
Confusion
People think of choosing as being about freedom. But is it?
Choosing is only necessary when there is confusion.
When the course is clear, you act unflinchingly.
When confused, you must choose.
The problem with choosing is that a confused mind
by its very condition is not capable of choosing well.
If you possessed clarity, you would see. No choice
would be needed.
Not knowing
Admitting that you do not have the answer can be quite
liberating.
Instead of being, fixed, certain and secure, you
are free, spontaneous and inquiring.
With nothing to hold onto, you are more inclined to consider new
possibilities, different options and considerations.
Objective?
Questions and answers are quite limiting.
Both reflect a shaping of reality.
But words are not the thing.
People imagine themselves to be objective but there is no such thing as
objectivity.
Bias
Our education, upbringing, memories,
experiences and opinions
provide perspective - we see things in a
particular way - how we are... rather than
as
they are.
We are inherently biased.
Questions shape answers
Our questions determine the answers we are seeking.
They formulate the nature of the answer we desire e.g. How?
(method/process). What? (description). When? (time). Where? (location). Why?
(reason). Which? (choice). Who? (identity). The answers confirm the information we
want to hear. Can you see the dilemma?
I Ching
The I Ching encourages us to consider new choices. It suggests that
any given situation may offer 8 choices.
This number is not fixed or literal. It is simply a device to encourage
further contemplation.
Our capacity to see alternatives determines how easily we are able to adapt,
change and improvise.
You don't have to read the I Ching in order to do this. Just try to see any
situation from multiple angles.
Clarity
Seeing clearly is essential.
Unless we can interact with reality without the burden of our thoughts and
opinions, we will not respond appropriately.
Appropriateness
Choosing without seeming to choose, selecting the most harmonious option
automatically - this is called 'choiceless awareness'.
We are one with the moment. We see the permutations without thinking,
without anxiety.
We move without fear, spontaneously and easily.
Taoism encourages this
'attuning to the way of things'.
Decisive
A martial artist doesn't have the luxury of dithering.
Dithering weakens your ability to act.
Your mind is divided between
concerns.
It is necessary to choose rapidly and choose
well.
We can hold back neither the coming of the
flowers
nor the downward rush of the stream; sooner or later,
everything comes to its fruition.
(Loy Ching-Yuen)
Page
created 21 May 1996
Last updated
04 May 2023
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