Frustration | ||
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Stress
Frustration causes stress: you want something but you
are blocked; events beyond your control are preventing you from proceeding.
You lack the money, you lack the time.
Your neighbour is noisy and will not be quiet.
Somebody scratched a line down the side of your car last night.
At work, you are treated like a resource and nobody cares about you so long
as you do the job.
You want to buy a house but find that you do not earn enough money to
qualify for a mortgage.
Selfish
Frustration occurs when we feel thwarted by external events.
At the root of this problem is the fact that people can be extremely selfish
and many do not care about one another.
Our world has been destroyed by greed and commerce; people live in poverty
and poor health, animals are hunted to extinction
or treated abominably whilst alive.
The Western world has become a world of adult-children,
bored, restless, overworked - addicted to food,
television and videogames.
Business and media have not necessarily created
the situation but they have exploited it.
Most studies agree that there
are a number of key personality characteristics that are important for
healthy aging: easygoing, cheerful, self-confident, adaptable, active,
independent, creative, happy, relaxed, satisfied, calm, open, agreeable,
conscientious, sociable and having a high tolerance for frustration being
mentioned most often.
The traits that lead to an unhealthy, shorter life? Being repressed,
dogmatic, stubborn, hostile, neurotic, angry, guilty, sad, fearful, anxious,
depressed and aggressive.
(Dr Bradley Wilcox, Dr Craig Wilcox and Dr Makoto Suzuki)
Equity?
People like to be treated with fairness and respect.
Some want more than this:
•
They want to feel special,
important, above other people
•
Their insecurity leads them to abuse: they take
more than they need, they demand
recognition, prestige
This behaviour has consequences; it
affects everything else, it creates an imbalance that spans the world.
When people only look after their own wellbeing
and think nothing of others or the future, they
make life difficult for others.
Money games
Modern society is filled with situations that make you feel helpless and
annoyed.
Consider property/ownership: You want something, so you buy it. If you
cannot afford it immediately, you save.
If you are too impatient to save or need it
immediately, you go into debt.
Yet, buying the item is just the beginning.
Trapped
Now you need to look after your property, safeguard it from others, from
theft or damage. Fear creates anxiety, so maybe you insure it.
Insurance sounds alright in principle, yet if you make a claim, you might be
penalised.
Consequences
A whole chain of events has now occurred as a consequence of one purchase.
It is worth considering what is making you stressed
and frustrated; and whether or not you can do anything about it.
The Book of Changes teaches that there are often
many different ways to consider one
situation.
Making the best of it
Taoism looks at the world as a system of
relationships that we must find harmony with
rather than try and change.
Krishnamurti argues that if life seems
unfair, you cannot hope to change everyone else.
The change must come from within, from the individual.
Even if you succeed in solving one problem -
removing one external barrier - there will always be another.
Different attitude
Tai chi encourages you to roll with
the punches, to make the best of every situation.
Life will never be problem-free or
perfect, so accept it and do what you can.
Tai chi
Tai chi is frequently promoted as
being incredibly easy to learn... yet the sheer complexity of
tai chi is very intimidating to a
beginner.
There is just no end to the detail and the
refinement.
The art cannot be learned and then put
aside; it is a process of continuous
development and change.
As your sensibilities become more subtle and
awareness grows, the training becomes a greater and greater challenge.
Challenges keep you young
When the challenge seems insurmountable; you may become
frustrated at your apparent lack of progress.
And that really is the whole point.
If you approach tai chi as a goal, or
something to own or to have... it will elude you.
There is always a further layer of detail and
subtlety.
Learning curve
Becoming angry or feeling powerless is pointless in tai chi; you just need
to be patient and accept your situation.
You cannot rush, hurry, buy
or cheat your way through the syllabus: it makes everybody equal. Only the dedicated, patient student will experience its
benefits.
Tai chi is a journey that
will take a lifetime to complete and even if you feel to have
mastered the art, there is some further nuance
within your training just waiting to be uncovered.
A wild bird nesting in
the deep forest needs no more than a single branch;
a wild animal drinking from a river takes no more than its fill.
(Chuang Tzu)
Page created
8 December 2004
Last updated
16 June 2023
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