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Not a 'life coach'
Just for the record, your
instructor is not a life coach.
They are not a guru or a personal trainer either.
Nor would they wish to be one.
The student
People of all shapes and sizes come to learn tai chi.
Everyone has different bodies,
physical habits, experiences,
emotional states and
psychologies.
Often the student has lofty ambitions and hopes for
achievement. This is understandable...but often
naive.
It's all part of life's rich
pageant.
(A Shot In the Dark)
Gratification
Many people nowadays want immediate gratification.
They consider themselves to be a 'Very Important Person' with privileged
status. They want acknowledgement, credit, validation.
Their sense of ego and self
get in the way of learning.
Instead of listening, they filter.
They 'cherry pick' and make very little
progress (and blame the instructor), often quitting
within a few weeks.
The job
The job of a instructor is to try and
turn the student into a martial
artist.
This may sound straightforward but is in fact
beset with major obstacles from the onset.
People are frequently unhealthy (but
unaware of it), seriously unfit, their minds are
filled with misconceptions,
cluttered with trivia, news,
politics, gossip, TV
programs and various opinions.
Usually their attention span is so poor they can
barely concentrate on the work at hand.
Motivation
Unlike a coach, the instructor is not going to try and
motivate the student. They simply offer the material.
If the student chooses to attend lessons every week, practice at
home
between lessons and watch school DVDs, they will probably make good
progress.
If the individual decides to make no effort whatsoever, this is their own
business entirely.
The sensei is not a therapist. The goal of
the dojo is to make healthy people healthier, physically and psychologically
and spiritually. It cannot be expected to repair badly damaged human beings.
As so if a member exhibits serious personal problems, the sensei's job is to
get rid of him, gracefully if possible, forcefully and definitively if
necessary.
(Dave Lowry)
Syllabus
Tai chi is based on the yin/yang principle.
A comprehensive grasp of Taoism is
required.
The instructor will demonstrate Taoist principles
through physical examples and by way of stories and anecdotes.
These all serve to encourage the student to go and
read the texts for
themselves.
Metacognition
The Taoist model of thought is very important for a
student to understand and
employ.
It helps them to see martial situations in a manner
conducive to the proper
application of tai chi.
Whether or not the student seeks to utilise the insights in other areas of
their life is entirely their own concern.
Zen
Just as Taoism encourages the student to see harmony,
moderation, grace,
tranquillity,
balance and flow, Zen is concerned with presence.
Seeing what is right in front of you.
Not opinions, ideas or
speculation. What is actually there for all to see. This is 'the truth'.
Not my truth or your truth, but the truth, the
fact.
The truth is as real as a punch in the face.
You cannot talk away the pain of impact or the
damage it caused. Truth is real, tangible and concrete.
Combat
Let's assume that the tai chi student gains a rudimentary grasp of
Taoism and manages to remain in the here and now, they still need to address
fitness, alignment,
tension,
sensitivity etc.
Before they even think about fighting.
Usually, machismo, anger,
aggression, fear and
arrogance impede learning.
Most students are simply not fit for combat.
If they went down to the local MMA club they would
be in for a real shock.
One is taught in accordance to one’s fitness to learn.
(The Silent Flute)
Krishnamurti
Krishnamurti was a spiritual teacher.
He was approached by people from all walks of life seeking to address some
problem in their lives.
Despite thousands of discussions,
Krishnamurti never actually offered advice nor coached anyone.
Instead, he unravelled their requests and explored
their motives and intentions.
Usually, the inquirer was quite shocked to discover that they were deluding
themselves and asking for something quite unrealistic.
Instructing
Instructors should carefully avoid becoming embroiled in the
lives, egos and idiosyncrasies of their
students.
It is simply not their job.
This is not the 'service industry'...
The teacher teaches the
art; they are not a guru,
personal trainer or life
coach.
Context
Everything that takes place in a tai chi class is about learning
tai chi.
The teacher has enough to deal with in class without being concerned about
the lives of students beyond class.
Ideally an instructor would like every student to train tai chi every day,
but they have no means of enforcing this.
Befriend the man who is brutally honest, for honesty is the highest form of
respect.
(Daniel Saint)
Learned helplessness
Students tell instructors that they can't
remember the teachings or they can't find the time
to practice... The instructor isn't interested.
They have their own concerns: renting the hall, cleaning/tidying the
hall, maintaining good relations with the hall owner, purchasing equipment,
keeping track of student progress, refining the syllabus, promoting the
business, book keeping, paying bills, answering e-mails, maintaining an
on-line presence, dealing with students who struggle, bullies, the keener
class members, their own family, their own training, their own relationships
and time management concerns.
Self-reliance
We are all responsible for our own lives.
Making complaints to the instructor sounds weak and
disorganised; like a child asking mummy
for help.
Even if the teacher wanted to help, how could they? Why should they?
It is important to keep in mind that the
instructor's role is not to say things that please you.
Not interested
Beyond tai chi your instructor has no real interest in your life.
Unless the news is good/uplifting. Why would they?
Do you really want to hear a list of complaints from your instructor? How
hard it is to make ends meet/no
time etc? How busy they are?
Of course you don't.
Well, they feel the same way about you.
The good oil
Share the good stuff in your life, not the funk.
If you've accomplished something and feel proud of yourself. If you had a
training breakthrough. Don't brag or boast or show off.
Your instructor would be happy to hear how you overcame adversity, showed
grit and character. They just don't want to hear you moan.
Relationship
Ideally, student and instructor need to develop a relationship
that is mutually beneficial.
The instructor passes on their skills in the hope
that their trust and patience is being invested in someone who
appreciates the
significance of the information.
The student is aided in their discovery of the art,
and makes steady, on-going progress.
There should be mutual respect and friendship between student and
instructor, without undue formality.
A good relationship between student and instructor involves two people
travelling down the same
path together, and enjoying whatever comes their way.
"Aslan is a lion - the Lion, the great Lion."
"Ooh…" said Susan. "I'd thought he was a man. Is he quite safe? I
shall feel rather nervous about meeting a lion..."
"Safe?" said Mr Beaver, "Who said anything about safe? 'Course he
isn't safe. But he's good."
(C S Lewis)
Page created
18 April 2009
Last updated
16 June 2023
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